The Year I Pulled Back

As I sit here reflecting on 2025, I realize just how afraid I was.

Not afraid of prayer itself—but afraid to pray the way I once did.

I didn’t stop praying.

I just stopped praying like that.

The bold prayers.

The dangerous ones.

The prayers that once rolled off my tongue without hesitation—until life answered back louder than my faith expected.

I had asked God to stretch me, to grow me, to use me.

And He did.

But the answers came wrapped in ways I wasn’t prepared for—through fear, through loss, through moments that left me questioning whether faith was supposed to feel this costly.

So somewhere along the flying year, I became careful.

Measured.

Quiet.

I still prayed—but with boundaries.

With disclaimers.

With a heart that wanted God close… but not too close.

And somewhere between the “Amen” and the aftermath, I realized something unsettling:

I wasn’t afraid of prayer.

I was afraid of what might happen after God answered.

I learned that when you ask God to stretch you, He doesn’t send a memo first.

He sends moments that shake you, seasons that test you, and paths that force you to lean harder than you ever planned to.

Now, looking back at how quickly the months flew by, I am realizing that somewhere along the way this year, fear crept in—quiet, convincing, cautious.

It dressed itself up as wisdom.

But really, it was hesitation.

I’ll say it plainly: I’m ashamed of that fear.

And I’m not staying there.

As 2026 approaches, I choose courage over comfort.

I choose surrender over safety.

I choose faith that prays with open hands and a willing heart—no fine print, no escape clauses.

I don’t know exactly what lies ahead.

But I know this:

I will not hold back.

I will not shrink my prayers.

I will not mute my calling.

In 2026, I’m seeking—not cautiously, not casually—but fervently.

For purpose.

For alignment.

For the kind of faith that trusts God even when the answers come wrapped in fire.

If I’m going forward, I’m going all in.

So I ask you—gently, honestly, boldly:

• Who will walk this path with me?
• Who will choose faith over fear, even when fear feels justified?
• Who will pray the prayers they’ve been avoiding—the ones that cost something?
• Who will stop negotiating with God and start trusting Him fully?

This isn’t a call for perfection.

It’s a call for participation.

If you’re willing to step into 2026 with trembling faith and open hands…

If you’re ready to stop shrinking your prayers to fit your comfort…

If you’re longing to rediscover purpose instead of just surviving seasons…

Then walk with me.

Let’s seek God—fervently, honestly, relentlessly.

Let’s choose obedience even when it stretches us.

Let’s believe that whatever He allows, He will also sustain us through.

Leave fear in 2025.

Step forward in faith.

And let’s walk this path—together.

Xoxo Merry Melodious Melody